Most of you know that Donna and I have made a major move from California to Texas (see our last post). We moved here near two of the three kids and nine of the grandkids and are attempting to settle in. We have a house we are doing a kind of “rent to buy” arrangement with, we have TX plates on our vehicles (including the bike) and have TX Driver’s Licenses now. We’re trying to set up our health care and are finding that to be extremely complicated.
I called Texas “California East” because it is amazing how many people we are connecting with came out here from California! It seems like virtually everyone. So, I’m not sure I’m really in Texas, or just an outlying district of California:-).
The more we “settle in” the more strange it feels because I don’t have a paying job for the first time in 37 years. We are becoming “normal” and yet we know we can’t continue this way. I am making some connections and talking with some churches and waiting for 501c3 approval for The Essential Faith Project so that we can really move ahead with it. I’m not just sitting around doing nothing. But that is what I’m being paid.
This journey has shown me something else that I admit is hard for me to deal with. I serve the Lord. I belong to Him. Serving Him is my life. And most of my life, that has been in the form of occupational ministry of some kind–usually very specialized or as Senior Minister of a church.
I am still a servant of the Lord. But I am NOT serving as part of a church staff. So, who am I?
I will know who stopped reading there by the comments:-). I know what you’re going to say. I have said it myself–and I still do. Who I am before the Lord is not a function of what I do, what title I hold or what I get paid for. It is based in my relationship with Him and my willingness to serve Him in whatever circumstances I find myself.
But it doesn’t feel right.
Discipleship often doesn’t feel “right”. But we still serve the Lord, The King! If He is content for me to be in occupational limbo for a period of time, I must accept it and continue to be faithful. Otherwise, my ministry–my very faith–is based in my feelings and my experiences.
That cannot be. Our relationship with the Lord is NOT based on how we feel or what we are doing at the time. It is based in Christ’s work in us and our faith–belief, trust and faithfulness to Him.
So, I await the Lord’s pleasure and try to be faithful day to day, serving in whatever manner I am able in the meantime.
Signing off from Far East California, just outside Fort Worth.