Ok, strange title for a blog by a minister. But it is important to say this. I know this because Donna told me I should write on it. When She tells me that, it is important:-). I believe in prayer—but not for the reason most people, even most Christians—pray. Years ago I told my congregation “Prayer is about the relationship, not the request”.
We don’t pray to “get” something—or for that matter just to ask for it. But for many, prayer is a mechanism by which we tap into God’s power to attain whatever it is we most want. We might want something good or something bad. It doesn’t matter. Prayer isn’t supposed to be about us GETTING something. It is about our relationship with God. God wants us to talk to him because he is our father and we are his children. God doesn’t NEED us to talk to him. He wants us to, because he created us to have a relationship with him, and that includes communication.
So, why does prayer sometimes scare me? Because right now I know of two families who are drifting—maybe walking or running—away from the Lord. They are people going through some things which are very difficult—I get that. But they prayed. They asked God to change things. They asked God to give them what they wanted. And when God didn’t do what they wanted, they got mad at God. They decided God let them down. They blame God for what they’re going through (when both pragmatically and theologically the blame rests squarely on them). I have seen this dynamic many times before—it isn’t just these two families. And I see it potentially in the prayers being offered on my behalf right now.
Next week I will have a medical procedure done which might save my life—a stem cell transplant. Without it, over the next few years, I will slowly degenerate and slowly but certainly die. So, I’m going through the procedure. But the procedure itself is dangerous—it sometimes kills people. The stark reality is I could die next week from the treatment, not the disease. In my case, the odds, medically, are greatly in my favor.
But that isn’t why I am at peace with this. I am at peace because I prayed and I know that God will heal me, right?
WRONG! (I put that in caps and bold—not sure how to make it louder:-). I’ll explain why I am at peace below.
A few days ago I was talking to a friend who told me, “You’re going to be fine. I am claiming that!”
“Claiming” that? Show me this in scripture. Anywhere. It isn’t there. We can “Claim” all we want, but if God hasn’t promised it (and he NEVER promised healing to those of us who are sick—that’s why we all die), God isn’t bound by our claim.
So what happens to my friend’s faith if I die? He claimed my healing, and it didn’t happen. God let him down. God doesn’t care. God is mean. God can’t be trusted. And faith goes away. And it isn’t because God can’t be trusted. It is because he prayed for something and believes God is now obligated to give him what he wants!
Never mind God never promised healing. Never mind that I am a sinner and deserve death and even hell. Never mind that God has a perfect plan to eternally save me—and he is carrying that out. None of this matters because God didn’t do what my friend wanted him to do.
That’s why his prayer scares me.
IF YOU CARE ABOUT ME, OR HAVE EVER SAID YOU APPRECIATE MY TEACHING AND LEADERSHIP, PLEASE DO NOT PUT YOURSELF OR OTHERS IN A POSITION WHERE MY CIRCUMSTANCES COULD CAUSE YOU TO LOSE FAITH! THIS IS LITERALLY THE ONE THING IN LIFE I FEAR TODAY. (notice those bold caps again?)
We have no right to “claim” or “trust” or “count on” anything God has not promised. To do so is to take God’s name and authority for ourselves and ignore his sovereignty.
I am not at peace because I know God will heal me. I am at peace because I know I am with him whether he does or not. This isn’t “resignation”. This is peace and joy. As Paul said in Philippians, “To live is Christ (serving him), to die is gain (being with him bodily, eternally).” Even in the outworking of the penalty for my own sin (sickness and death) I can’t lose! Either way, I am with the Lord. And the sadness of my family and friends will be soothed by the knowledge that, if they belong to the King, they are going to be with us as well!
So, how do I pray? The King knows my heart, and the fact that I cherish the gifts of love, family and service he has given me. If I am allowed to enjoy them longer, I would love that. But that isn’t and never has been my prayer. My prayer is that in whatever I encounter during this process—however unpleasant and difficult it seems—I would honor him and be faithful. And now, my prayer is that you would do the same. If you wish to pray for my healing, feel freeJ. I am not “giving up”. I am fighting the disease.
But understand that “healing” now isn’t even close to the most important thing. Not for me. Not for you.
Join me in praying that we would be faithful to the King—and one day we will be together, bowing before him—knowing a joy and completeness that we will never experience until that time!
For health updates during my Adventure go to www.caringbridge.org/visit/theadventure
Vicki Winchester says
Amen, Randy, AMEN!
These well meaning, wonderful people’s prayers make me nervous for exactly the same reason.. What will happen if their prayer wasn’t answered the way they prayed! I always think about that, and have to pray for Him to reach them in His way.
Praying with and for you. For His glory ❤️
Dan Roberts says
Hello Old Friend,
I appreciate your posts — perhaps not as others do for I am going through the same sort of thing but in reverse. My wife has Alzheimer’s — getting pretty advanced now. For the last two and a half years that I have known that she has this disease I have watched her slowly fade away from me. Sometimes she asks me to take her to see her mother and father who died in Thailand decades ago. Sometimes she asks who I am. I have to buckle her seat belt when we get in a car and open the door (not because I’m polite) because she has forgotten how to open the door. The other day she wanted something to drink and got some ice and put in olive oil and red wine vinegar– she didn’t finish it all. The smile that I fell in love with has mostly washed away and is a poor comparison. She often forgets how to speak in English and spends the night speaking to me in a language I cannot understand. I grieve in inches as one ability or personality facet after another leaves me forever. I know that however long I have her it will not be enough. But the peace that you speak of is abiding. She doesn’t leave me forever. We are already living our eternal life it is just the end of this portion. I don’t write these things to complain but to join my arms with you; I want you to know that I have told God that I am proud of you and your faith and accomplishment in family and ministry. I’m proud that the young man I knew many years ago has matured even to here. I’m grateful that my son, Michael, has you for his minister and sees and example that he take to heart. Thank you — My Friend
Dani says
Your explanation is perfect. Thanks for sharing it! Praying for your and Donna’s continued peace!
Donna White says
My messages mostly say Praying. Praying, Praying to let you & Donna know you are constantly in my thoughts & prayers. Yes, I have asked God to comfort you & to heal you, but I know He created you for His purposes & His pleasure. You are His & He will use you as He desires. So I pray that God’s will be done in your life & that no matter what His mercy brings, our King will be glorified in the lives of those who know & love you. So dear friend, Praying, Praying, Praying!
Cindy Fennig says
Thank you for your willingness to speak the truth always, no matter what!
Jeff Cox says
It was 2008. My wife and I sat under an umbrella at Starbucks and considered the ministry we had been involved with for over twenty-five years. We felt there was need for a stirring in our own lives and in the lives of those we served. We laid the ministry down in prayer: “Lord, there is more than what we are experiencing. Do something for the sake of Your Name. Make your hand strong in the lives of this community of people. But Lord, if you have something else in mind, we are open to that possibility too. If one year from now, on October 1, 2009, something extraordinary has not taken place, then we will revisit this issue and consider a different path.”
Everything went downhill from there.
The bottom fell out of the economy and the church reeled. It was a time of darkness and difficulty such as I had never seen in twenty five years of serving as a pastor. Nearly one year later, with no sign of divine intervention, I prepared to jettison my full time position. I received a phone call from a man named Mr. Christian. As a pastor, he wanted to meet and discuss ministry. We met for lunch and visited warmly. One week later, he called again and asked to meet with me. We scheduled a time at Starbucks. We sat down at a table and he began to explain that he was there on behalf of a man who had been through a very dark valley. This man wanted to gift a ministry that needed encouragement. Mr. Christian and his Elders were to steward this gift.
They were extending this gift to us.
This gift covered three months of back mortgages for the church building payment. It covered several weeks of back pay for three full time staff members. It paid, in full, many vendors that were extended well beyond thirty days. The gift also included a one year budget provision to enable the ministry to weather the economy for one more year.
This happened on October 1, 2009, one year from the day a discouraged pastor and his wife prayed the One Year Prayer.
Be careful what you pray for. Prayer towers with possibility. It is staggering with its outcomes. Prayer is, as you have said, scary. It is scary with what it will do and what it will not do. For someone who has ‘re-signed’ from faith in view how God did or did not answer, there is bitterness and sorrow. For someone who has ‘relinquished’ his own will for the greater glory of what God will do with prayer, there is inexplicable peace and an often unimaginable answer to prayer (Ephesians 3:20).
You’re testimony and words are a living portrait to that truth.
Thanks Mr. Christian.
Sandy says
Well said!
Raquel Watana says
Happy Belated Birthday Randy!
You are such a blessing to us in the congregation. We are so very lucky and blessed to be able to witness Your walk with the Lord. I am forever thankful to God for answering my prayers within your journey. I hurt for lost sheep and this message is one I find myself teaching the most often.
Thank you for your kind words and strong message.
Bob Bowdish says
So wonderful to have you back teaching us. What a spirit filled sanctuary we had today! The music and the message couldn’t have been any better, and to have you delivering such a personally relevant message can only be by God’s design.
Thank you Lord!