I don’t often get scared by events, but I see a trend that really does scare me.
I grew up in a time when educational values were shifting. I can remember in my early years being told by teachers that my answer was wrong—no qualifications, just wrong. It usually was.
By the time I was in high school, many teachers tried very hard to find something valuable in any answer given—though eventually they might admit it wasn’t what they were looking for because…it was wrong.
Today, this trend has continued to the point where many teachers—in the church as well as in schools—fear telling anyone their answer or response is wrong. It might seem disrespectful of that person, and after all, aren’t everyone’s opinions valuable?
So it should be no surprise to us when people seeking guidance on something important in their life—job decisions, marital problems, parenting issues—put their questions out on facebook asking everyone they know to chime in with advice. Not surprising, but really scary.
Why do people do this? In part, I suspect it is because they have been taught that everyone’s opinion is valid. The problem with this is—it’s wrong. If you have a question about computers, you don’t want my help. You don’t even want to hear my opinion. It is a waste of your time and presents a major danger if you are foolish enough to listen to it. Why? Because I don’t know what I’m talking about when it comes to computers.
We need to understand that there are many people who don’t know what they are talking about when it comes to job decisions, marital issues, parenting—or life itself. I remember one young man telling me his opinions (strongly) on a certain marital issue and proclaiming that the reason I should listen to him was that he had been married three times (no, he wasn’t kidding). He was 24 years old at the time.
So, why is this so important? Why am I scared? I meet with dozens of people each week, talking about various aspects of life, and I am finding more and more of them listening to the advice given by friends and families whose lives make it clear they have no clue what they are talking about. We need to be careful whose opinion we seek. We need to be even more careful whose opinion we value. And we need to be very careful whose advice we follow.
Randy, interesting and thought-provoking.
Neither you nor your spouse are financial professionals but you work with each other on setting a family budget. Does your post suggest that you shouldn't bounce ideas off each other because you may or may not be good with money?
You can also definitely learn stuff from those that aren't professionals. That 24-year old taught you not to be married 3 times by that age. I wager your kids, at very early ages, taught you great lessons about the love God has for you.
Colin, Actually over the years Donna and I have relied on others who are more knowledgeable about budgeting, etc. to guide us on our family budget–both in setting our "family policies" and in structuring our lives in order to carry out those policies.
I am not saying we cannot learn things from those who aren't "professionals", or that 24 year-olds cannot teach us anything–only that the reality is many people have little of value to teach on a given subject. The 24 year old clearly was not able to teach what he thought he was able to teach–only that he was in fact not qualified and that others should ignore his opinions. As for the kids, you are correct, they taught us great lessons on love–but in reality it was God teaching us through them, and through our interactions with them. The kids themselves had little understanding or mastery of love. Their love for us was entirely dependent on how they felt about us at the time–which was frequently not positive:-) (all discipline is unpleasant for the moment…). On the other hand, today we see them teaching us a great deal about love as they have matured and shown themselves to be able to love others as God loves us.